Anywho good post, I have read this before I believe. The bit about using both parts of the brain: it can still be overloaded though, bringing everything down. While keeping their own life private and secret. Real love and the love ever after They lurk in the shadows of darkness, constantly monitoring every area of your life. It surprises me cause his mommy always told me what a liar he is&now all of a sudden I’m the liar. Also downloaded the free “The Mask of Sanity” Please read. He wouldn’t ask how it feels. Lol…. I moved forward and marketed everything while he’s still where he is. He has been diagnosed with some sort of bipolar tendencies, according to his wife. haha.. Once I was so upset with him and he was texting me so I ignored him because I was literally so upset that I could not respond, well after 4 texts he says ” I hope you are alright (never cared bf) then he says” cold shoulder does not become you ! I was very saddened by the death of Maya Angelou today. Something that they OWN.They see what is yours, as theirs (and what is theirs is theirs). I says ” They all say to go “F” yourself! Or, he wants her to look at his phone and see that message to get a rise out of her? Now my three kids all teenagers, see what a pathetic pos he is. They cannot control you if you don’t let them. I haven’t had any kind of contact since then. He hated me because I wouldn’t back down and I kept on trying to take control back from him. When they lose (real or perceived) control, they will lose control of themselves and you will witness a full blown narcissistic rage. He didn’t care who he hurt, his children, anyone. No contact forces you to focus on you. He would not answer his phone or be offline hours at a time which triggered my anxiety and I would begin to research him. After reading your post you helped me a lot . So, we became a very bad toxic relationship. Most people don’t understand that it’s a self-esteem disorder. SURVIVORS, Hi Julie. J. All sociopaths suffer from jealousy. Don’t kick yourself for someone else being a sneak a a scum. They will respect the law, maybe. The sociopath is always in your life, you are never in theirs. And the beautiful human being did. I recently experienced what you wrote- when a narcissist feels they are losing control of you, they begin to lose control of themselves. This role I’ve been given It becomes more and more difficult as time goes by. I lost count of the number of times that he told me he was going to kill himself (he didn’t) likely he put the phone down and got on with his day. I am truly glad I am not her ‘the chosen one’ as she does not get a prize, just a life of misery & mistrust. We go No Contact to finally break free from the narcissistic abuse, to regain our life and restore our mental and physical health. Do you often wonder – “I s my husband a sociopath?” or are searching for signs that you married a sociopath? A sociopath is someone who has no empathy for other people and feels no remorse if they hurt your feelings. 12 years later, Phil Haberman still pretends to be military, Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships. Love bombing came on at extreme speed and with high intensity. Did you want to see me broken? I rise He went for a psych assessment and is awaiting consultation with a psychiatrist but there’s nothing they can do for him, he cant be cured. They can all work in Hollywood and many do because they truly must hide who they really are because of self loathing. He’s a sociopath with control issues. My ex SP left me to pursue another who I believe is an SP like him. I want revenge, I need revenge, I need to sleep at night.. You will get better and will be just fine. They will ruin and destroy you. He discarded me the day of the video shoot to try to mess up what I was doing but it came out beautifully because being raised by a narcissist I learnt how to keep going in spite pain. I will not check this post, but I must be heard here. The people r nuts,thank god I dnt live in the same state as they do! I think you read my mind except that in my case he just is gone (which is good even though I’m still upset and feel really down, especially today)(about a month and a week gone) I hate that I still think about him (exercise helps) At least I am doing something for me. They listen. Thanks again! And then one night he gave me the stare. Believe me, if a sociopath could change and not be one …. All the signs were there I saw it, but ignored it as I didn’t want it to be true. I am 2 yrs out with my 3 yr old and no contact order in place. Crying and feeling like I’ve gone cold turkey off heroine, needing to know if he’s okay, but darent try to find out. Yes this a tough one cashaw30, and one of the most difficult part of the dance with the sociopath. It was almost like he was trying to look into my soul. THAT IS THE BRAINWASH. Blocked him every place and will never turn back. Not sure I understand I just want him to go away. I’m just scared as finances will be tough. Really scary! He’s kind of pathetic now that I look him objectively. You may write me down in history I have to hold tightly to the fact that revenge will not fix me. The reality is, it happens in real life. But even so, its not possible he was a completely normal person, but less abusive. I married one because they’re excellent liars and manipulators and I’m a psychotherapist. You are not safe, you will be continually tormented until he loses interest. It is odd, as at other times in their life, they  are always striving to be just that, ‘in control’. Originating from a viral photoshop of Eminem throwing a fat rat captioned in this fashion, the image macro series gained popularity in October 2020 and has been used as a template for redraws. I should know Their survival instinct is paramount & they will destroy you before them if you give them enough power. I managed to get a seat on the next airplane leaving the island. Do not text or speak to him, him friends ever again. I got sent the perfect person to point it out , Hi Alyssa Many alcoholics love their alcohol more than their family, it becomes their best friend & ultimately destroys them. Sociopaths cannot tolerate things going well, or your life being good, calm and happy. Not only is he controlling, and you feel suffocated, you will have no idea what is … Sociopaths love going to court. That is all his to own. Vandalism has been reported to the police but there is no legal proof he committed the vandalism. Grieving the person you thought they were. My immune system almost gave up on me!! I’m getting out of a relationship after 19 years! I suppose that counts as violence. He is such a nasty, mean, manipulative person. Nice. A quick guide – what to expect healing and recovery! Or they would feel very empty indeed. I had kicked him out of my house / life over a year ago because I found out he had been cheating / lying on me for 8+ years. Social media has just given them an extra tool to terrorize people. Change your phone numbers, or block him in any and all ways possible, take his “toy” away from him (you) and the control he has over you. Here are five ways malignant narcissists – those without empathy and with an excessive sense of entitlement – use social media to exploit, manipulate and destroy their … For you to take down your hardened wall, and let them back in. When it is finally over, it can be difficult to switch off that ‘on guard’ feeling. He knows where I live when he leaves and goes back home. I’m just sick and tired of the vicious circle I had created for myself when it comes to intimate relationships…thankfully I am aware now so maybe it will be different this time. This is my experience. I got help from up above. Just ended a relationship with a socialpath feel devastated and exhausted. Your thoughts will be your biggest undoing as what you think, is what you believe. He has done all of the tactics listed to me worse part is isolating me from others which I am now starting to change. Take care. You have to remember they are humans, and they do not have what we have. ?” Unreal! Remember, at the end of the day, it’s You that matters & not your ex…. My kids don’t understand at all but I cant go back it was pure he’ll. No contact is the only way to heal. He has no control, he is lurking in the shadows like a vulture. The only thing is as controlling as he is, he doesn’t need to be with me excessively. I left while he was sleeping the next morning. I never got the full rage only glimpses etc…thank-god but, then again would probably never have been freed either as, I don’t think he willingly let me go? But this is always behind the mask of the desire to control. Complete dominance & compliance & extinction to all that do not ‘fit’ or obey. You can see it in my face Thank u for reassuring me it is part of there game. Don’t want to sit waiting for the next thing to happen and hope cameras catch him this time. If you're a nice person, if you typically want to do what's fair for everyone involved — well, that doesn't work with a sociopath. J. I want to bring to everyone’s attention that yes they’re very sick people no doubt. Just leave it there, take a good look at it, and walk away empty handed, humbled and defeated. By nature, I can be very defiant when someone is trying to control me and I have no problems expressing my feelings on things. It was the first hint I had that something was wrong with my mate…and it wasn’t me. PR xoxo. I’m glad I got out before it went any deeper. Most think you’re the one with the problem. That’s all you can really do. Move on. Know that you are NOT alone!!! He also did tell me he slept with over 200 people and I suspect not just women and he’s only 30 years old. I want to get revenge too! And I need to feel They both immediately disappeared from social media, and I’ve never heard a thing in 9 weeks. We had a LDR and so I wasn’t aware of what he was doing day to day. They do  not fear very much. I wasn’t surprised, just glad I got out when I did. • Blocking : Here, the gaslighting psychopath stops the conversation before it starts, directing your legitimate grievances down a blind alley. Accept the fact that there is no looking back or fixing any of it. Thanks for your reply. I am much wiser and no this will not happen to me again. But when they feel that they are losing control of YOU, (and they don’t want this), they will always lose control of themselves. Yes, the best way is to search the past: what did you like to do, books you read, places you visited, friends you had or movies you liked. I’m not writing back, the hell with him, he’s definatly starting to feel antsy, since October 2013, I left him, I think he feels its over, but I have a. feeling he’s going to keep at bothering me. I think that’s more than enough punishment. The thread that ties them together. Thank you!! I basically used his bag of tricks against him, like finding out how the illusion is performed I too wanted this REVENGE you speak of. Yet Another Great Post Pos & always timely as they usually strike a cord right when someone really needs it . I feel like I might not ever see the end of my internal suffering. I’ve been a bit teary eyed today, we have lost a phenomenal woman, poet, dancer, she was like our mother and I would like to thank Oprah another love of mine for introducing Maya on the Oprah show, my first impression of Maya was she’s remarkable, gracious, a scholar in her own right, as singlee mom who took on three jobs to raise her son the right way. Their need and desire for control, can create mayhem, cause trouble, turn your world upside down. When we bully children. They ask you questions and wait for the answers. Simply move on, disappear forever and take it from there. A high functioning sociopath is someone who is capable of holding jobs, getting married, and having kids. I’ve dated garden variety narcissists and avoidant attachment style men but then there was the sociopath. ‘Mark’ you – this means being with you as much time as they possibly can (the most effective way to stop your mind wandering to anyone else. Reading all of this is so unbelievable. We make the “end” by fully blocking them. I have endured so much emotional and mental abuse always telling myself he is sick not bad and I wouldn’t leave him if he had cancer. Watch it as it flies upward & onward, that’s you About 8 yrs ago, he decided to move where his twin was, and has done a complete 360. I have blocked him in ALL ways. Wow couldn^t of nailed it any better! So in case he insists you can eventually get to the police. Be incognito. No contact is important and being good to yourself is VERY important. Because all the things he’s going us illegal I’m not sure what I can do back to him as suggested in your post. They do it deliberately . If you just ignore him, probably he will shut up about it Ithink my response eventually was ‘whatever’ and then i would be told how it would be my fault that he was dead… of course nothing ever happened, it was just another dramatic act designed to regain control. Remove yourself from it. I can not get enough, I just wanna feel The sociopath see’s you as THEIRS. However, these people are sick because of our society and what we are doing to children. I went back to visit him in his country a few months later. He does not like it when other people give him restrictions. Time to think of the future as a blank canvas and now you get to paint the picture ! Ruining, smear campaigns and third party abuse! Thanks for returning with an update and letting people (like me) know that it will get better and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. It is exhausting being with them, constantly feeling on guard or fighting a battle. It sounds as if he has sucked you in, and you are being manipulated and controlled, ‘owned’. A sociopath… It is totally manipulative and trying to get an answer from you and drag you in. I worked all of my life with homeless people. I don’t understand how he can view her as ownership being she’s married. You may shoot me with your words, I cannot believe still that these people exist! I just re read my post, I hope I didn’t offend anyone, I didn’t mean there story’s or yours r boring. Bowed head and lowered eyes? The sociopath typically defends himself from hurt through the subconscious blocking away of affection toward him, and has therefore not developed normal interaction toward others. Don’t you take it awful hard The worst is that I know I am still vulnerable to his sparkle and I know I need no contact so I can see him clearly. Have a think about that one! You could try reading the post ‘how to get even with one’ its hard work, and hard going – not recommended for one who is violent – or if you have children or they have anything further to use against you. I fell for it and sure enough, I was hooked. I bet you wait for those texts…dreading it, knowing it’s coming, and then when he does text you there’s full on rage and anger? Pumping in my living room. Then get a pin & take the first balloon & pop it, that’s your ex, all hot air! The sociopath erased me too. If I may suggest the best revenge? So today is day one of complete no contact. This other sp of his might be married, but if he has complete control and she does whatever he tells, he doesn’t care, maybe he even wants her to keep married so she has more money he can steal from her. They can kill, you know it in that paralysing moment of fear. If I saw something inappropriate on his social media like saying to a girl “I want to eat your a**” and I would call him out on it and he would become aggressively angry and immediately punish me by a silent treatment and a block. This post is most disturbing to come across. “What she said!”, Thanks to everyone for their support and kind words, everything helps.. You’ll be left wondering what went wrong. Eventually you will come to the place where you know you are so much better off without the him. I see a very damaged human that’s no longer human but mechanistic. I wanna contact the living I will share on the facebook page. You will get beyond this. May you find peace greater today than yesterday. I didn’t want to humiliate him in front of all his colleagues and such. who says that ? Before I fall in love I can see myself coming All of this is he trying to drag you back. This is what gave me the courage. This is very true. When things are good, you as a prized good, become more prized, and therefore (in their mind) more likely to be lost or stolen, so the control escalates. Change ), You are commenting using your Facebook account. I found papers from over a yr ago, stating my suspect ions of him being a sociopath, and yet I stayed. Its a real struggle to wake up everyday and fight the same demons since I went no contact with what I call “IT” . A sociopath will show no remorse while messing with your head — and they may even seem to enjoy doing so. LOL) You could ask him something, he would say “yes” and two minutes later, he would say he never said that. I have anger like the rest of you, I have a lot of it, but I don’t want revenge. But nobody really gets into the outcome of “growing up” being abused everyday by your background. They see it as a weakness. How do you know if you are in danger? I’m still getting texts that vacillate between him saying he doesn’t care about me and I’ll have to look after myself to saying he’s sorry he said that he was just drunk and in pain and couldn’t take the beatings he was getting anymore I know what you’ll all say…stupid me, but I can’t explain how deep this all was for me, a constant longing, yet unfulfilled and frustrated. Who in their right mind would tell someone they love this comment? Go out & shine like the diamond you are . Do not respond. Don’t. Gosh…this sounds just like my ex…the self righteous condiscending replies back. You will never be allowed to have your own life being with a sociopath. Oops! ( Log Out /  Dating a sociopath aka dating a narcissist can only lead one place Either: Nothing makes the sociopath crazier, than losing control over you – which will lead them to lose control over themselves. This sense of ownership explains a lot. Gonk It almost killed me literally. And I have never had an incident since I was very young, unaware and inexperienced. More so when I use my phone. Except also I feel so messed up and I wish he wasn’t the way is he (which I could kick myself for). Hi. He would tell people that I was crazy, etc. They always need to be in control. I was going to tell him some more shit today, but why bother? ( Log Out /  I heard about Catfish. This had been almost six years of deeply emotional bonding and sharing each other’s daily events. It took over a year for me to get to that point and unfortunately we still talked every day. I didn’t answer the phone- actually was waiting for him to call back as it’s like we are connected ( I sense when he thinks of me in a weird sort of way). When they have no control over the person they are involved with they go into complete meltdown, rages and uncontrollable fits. Slowly redesign your life. 1) It will feel sudden and brutal If they’re breaking up with you, it will feel like a car crash you didn’t see coming. Now he is asking for help and has started looking for medical assistance. I have started accupuncture and therapies in hopes of relief. The sociopath is always in your life, you are never in theirs. I was depressed and anxious 24/7. You have heard it ALL I am CERTAIN of it… because I had heard it all. I was in a very bad place and this site and all of you helped me tremendously. On February 18, Mark Zuckerberg’s antisocial company took aim at Australia by blocking those in that country from sharing local and international content. He was always telling me how hard his childhood was. Going to waste It is not just a by part of an illness, it is deliberate behaviour to manipulate, con, ruin, drain another. Otherwise if you trying to do no contact is just causing further distress and things are getting worse and worse, and the police cannot assist – it is what I did. Interesting. Either block the message or get a phone that blocks it if you don’t want to change numbers. The sociopath will do everything to have control over your privacy (there will be no personal privacy with a sociopath), it feels like one rule for him, and another for you. I met him online five months ago. Even though my story wasn’t exactly the same as yours or was eerily similar! I’ve been 6 weeks with virtually no contact. I guess my narcissistic rage came out because of his sociopathic ways. Sociopaths lie in court. He had the nerve to say in his message “Its a matter of forgiveness and letting go.”. It could have been me. Awesome posting. Alternatively you can try an injunction order, but often they do not listen to this, and they are so sneaky and devious – that it would continue they love getting away with it….yes he would make you look crazy but likely he will do this anyway. They don’t go away, not if they have formed as real a connection to you, as they are capable of. Yes, I got hurt and he is totally f’ed up around me. I’m in total stunned mode, I can’t understand why this woman who sent very sexually detailed descriptions of our meetings, full of anger and rage, has not bothered pursuing things or knocked on my door. its all about mindfucking… hes the compassionate caring one and youre the asshole…its sickening…and scary…totally enraging too! That I dance like I’ve got diamonds Literally THEIRS. You may kill me with your hatefulness, Also you have to isolate from the person, block contacts and avoid anything he uses to contact you, like text, letters or facebook. That’s the best revenge, don’t feed the fire…just ignore it and let it burn itself out. You can’t hurt them, no one can. I asked if he thought it should stop, said I would understand if he needed to work on things at home. It was just do I need to be punished and the zombie eye stare. They can’t get to you, they don’t know where you are and never will, and knowing that pisses them off. And try to start all over again with a clean, honest and fresh plate. Reading all these messages, made me realize I need to stay far, far away. Moving towards acceptance – Let go with love!! He talks a lot about himself, and refers to others in the third person. He was what I know now, playing the self-pity role of being hurt by an ex. He was born this way and he couldn’t change it if he tried. and if you complain about it, they will tell you how you are going to be in their life, but it never really happens. They won’t hesitate to rip the band-aid off without considering your feelings. Doing this will save you from being duped more than other people who meet the path. my child’s father was like this trying to control me and used me to look good to others he was a poor inner city youth who no body understood and i was a middle class girl but i liked him and it grew to love but as is always THE CASE THE TRUE COLORS COME OUT AFTER THEY HAVE GAINED YOUR FULL TRUST AND HAVE YOU WRAPPED in thier web of lies. But there are always red flags, yet being the naive people we are who are not Sociopathic/Psychopathic, we just ignore them usually. Not sure I understand He just appeared possessed and robotic. 2 months in and I figured him out. I’m trying to develop special therapies to help these people. . It’s only been a couple of months and it is getting better I just want to stop thinking about her and what happened. I also spent a lot of time researching his social media activity. I just witnessed complete rage as the sociopath in my life thought he was losing control. I don’t think he told his wife at all. Sad part is I doubt he’ll find another victim soon. Please listen to yourself. You may cut me with your eyes, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. I got too much love I’ll get a txt 4-6 weeks apart, as much as he isn’t in my life anymore he’s still in control of it! It took me almost 2 years before I realised this fact Natalie. That is the only way he will lose interest, anything you tell him, like “it’s over” or you don’t love him, is just feeding him. Bit he knows I know what he is. they love to play the game. Forgive and forget and never look back, lest you hurt yourself doing so. I immediately pulled all traces of him and the album… Re-recorded a “secret” album and didn’t tell a soul until it was out… Moved the current video song to the secret album and cut all ties and anything with him…. I asked what do you mean? Positive, I have a question. Thank you. I meant for myself my story. It helped me .. Tha nk you!! We need to focus on ourselves and do what we need to do to get away from the damaging effects of being in a relationship with a mentally ill person. They live a life of lies and manipulation and of fakeness. Falling for a covert narcissist is a toxic cycle of emotional abuse. All we can … I know I deserve this, so not expecting kind words, but I made one reply that my husband knew and to stop the abuse or I’d take it further. Don’t waste your time energy on these people please. I feel sadness and relief yet alone and scared. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. . He also is an alcoholic. It’s terrorizing. I have to make peace with the fact that I can’t stay with him and let him continue to destroy what’s left of me. They do because they own you, and woe betide anyone else who they perceive is trying to stake a claim on THEIR PROPERTY. A ‘path is someone with a penchant for funny stories, quick wit, intelligent conversation, and an ability to talk about difficult subjects with seemingly heartfelt emotions. And has been taking full advantage of them. If he cannot have you, no-one else will! Any thoughts on what his response would be to a visit with a warning from the police? Therefore, if you choose to fight a sociopath, or if you have no choice but to fight a sociopath, your own fighting style will need to become aggressive as well. I rise. The control issue is reason we leave so they are stupid as well as dangerous. No info is what drives them mad. It’s a real big place, Come and hold my hand I wanted a husband and partner not a robot and child. With the certainty of tides, Beautiful Maya was a beautiful wise and very gifted soul. He and I were in constant contact every day, always telling me how much he loved me, his life was hell, illnesses, problems, dramas at work/ home etc. Now he is off with someone else doing his scummy thing. They don’t know they exist never mind that you exist. Is it all typical of a sociopath who feared rejection?? They OWN you. They’re always right. You have received a message that frightens you. You say he still texts you, can you block him? Don't add to that by being hard on yourself if your own path is filled with dark days and setbacks--even setbacks you may have caused by diverting from a path of 'no contact.' The addiction to them is, the most dangerous weapon in their armory & they depend & rely on it.